Ayahuasca Calling – Part 4

A Maloca is usually, from what I gather, a shaded roofed hut sort of space, under which sacred ceremonies are often held. Usually, people gather in near-darkness, the group led by an experienced curandero/ facilitator, drinking the tea one by one. And then, there is not even a candle’s worth of light in the space. ‘Students’ (I like to use this term) or ‘brave/ desperate hopefuls’ sit in total darkness, with a small bucket next to them (to be used for the purge via vomit), while the Curandero sings the Icaros, smokes tobacco and engages with energies unseen by us.

In our gathering, we were told to preferably keep sitting rather than lie down (because some may fall asleep and in doing so miss the ‘lively’ experience behind closed eyes), especially for absolute newbies.

We, a bunch of total strangers, gathered under the maloca (we were a group of 20 or more I think) when it was already dark. It was 2 nights before full moon, March 6th, 2020. A few little lights were on till we sat chitchatting around, nervous banter broken up by equally nervous silences. We were strictly advised to not touch anyone, before, during or after ceremonies. Basically, no energetic engagements.

There were a few rules/ directions to follow as much as possible, as per Brother T, during the ceremony (I say rules because of limitations of language, its not militant, its just loving cautioning advice that aids a better individual and collective experience):

1. No touching
2. No talking
3. Control your urges (whether to laugh or cry or dance or sing) so as to not hijack another’s process, even your own
4. No wandering off far away from the maloca
5. Respecting others’ process – no matter what they may be experiencing, the fellow hopefuls, do not interfere, do not comfort or console or touch, do not engage – the Curandero and his trusted team of energy workers would if they saw it fit
6. Do not be greedy and take multiple servings of the medicine, especially if it’s your first time (sometimes it may take a while for the medicine to take effect in your body, sometimes it may be quick, sometimes it may feel like nothing is happening but then BOOM! it hits you suddenly and you can’t keep your bearings within the experience, so best to use the first ceremony to pace yourself)
7. Clear your mind as much as possible before you drink the tea
8. Keep the themes of your wishlist in your mind before ceremony begins and then LET THEM GO, Surrender them completely
9. Keep your eyes closed and sit up for as long as you can
10. Don’t fight the process, since you have worked hard to be here, since you are looking for help/ intervention – let her (the mother) intervene 🙂 Don’t resist
11. If your process turns out to be overwhelming to the point of being unbearable, and you think you need help – simply raise your hand while sitting in place, someone (the curandero or their helper) will come and help you
12. Lastly and most importantly – SURRENDER, give in to the medicine as completely as you possibly can

Even as I type this, I feel like I am ready to sit in ceremony again, right this minute, or this evening 🙂

Oh how I miss being part of that moment, that energy, those visions and sounds.

We were so lucky to have the opportunity to work directly with a Peruvian curandero, (HC we’ll call him) who was also a musician and played and sang like an angel. He had come down along with his wonderful Canadian yogini wife, and their little ayahuasca baby girl (the children born to parents who have partaken in Ayahuasca medicine are said to be special awakened humans). Brother T had worked & trained with HC for a long time apparently and they were like family.

As far as the participants go, the group of us was as diverse as it could be. People of all ages, all walks of life. A priest, A Vedic expert, 3 married couples, a pair of brother and sister, a pair of Uncle and nephew, a couple group of friends, a national Rock icon etc. Amongst us, there were a few who had partaken in ceremonies earlier, but for most of us it was our very first time. So, there was a fair bit of nervousness in the air 🙂

I had started writing in a journal a few weeks before the ceremonies, simply because I was having intense ‘new’ experiences, in the way of vivid detailed dreams, lucid dreaming, out of body hallucination-like-daydreams, so many emotions and thoughts rushing through my head etc. So I had begun documenting with at least a half-sincerity. I carried that journal with me to the retreat and continued writing every day.

Today when I re-read the entries, I see that the thoughts are a good mix of sincere, surreal, silly and downright dumb (hehe). I, in the middle of the retreat of supposedly like-minded people, Ayahuasca hopefuls, on a path and quest to heal themselves, learn about themselves, about other worlds, about nature etc. – was feeling judgmental and writing down those judgments about “this one seems so sexist”, and “that one is so unlikeable”, “I’m so bored!”, “Wow, that one is so hot/ good-looking!”, “Why Am I doing this to myself?”, “Am I the odd one out here?”, “Do I even belong in this group of people?”. Hilarious stuff, in hindsight. But also so so very human.

I write the above to make sure that this is well understood – Just because someone signs up for Ayahuasca, follows the diet to the T, follows all the guidelines, ingests the medicine, has mystical clarifying insights and experience, DOES NOT MEAN they become someone else overnight, DOES NOT ENSURE they stop being the human they may have been for ages, DOES NOT GUARANTEE they will become saints/ zen masters suddenly.

Actually, that’s their homework. In fact, you might find (as I have, in myself and also other Aya people) that they stay the same in many aspects of their lives. Overnight transformations are the stuff of fairytales. The Mother cannot force your hand, will not MAKE you be “better” or “different” or “improved”. IT IS YOU! It is literally the homework of the human student to work on themselves and make what they will of the insights and visions that they receive.

This is in fact exactly what an auto-writer revealed to me (a sort of medium or channeller who channels Source wisdom to answer your questions). This particular autowriter used her non-primary hand to channel answers to my pre-meditated questions on a piece of paper in front of my eyes – “Q – What will Ayahuasca do for me?”, “A – Ayahuasca will merely open a window/ door, and it’s entirely up to you to walk through it or not. You can choose to stay the same as you are now, Or you can choose differently.”

Basically, the agency is yours and your alone. No one can force your hand, No one can do any mental or emotional surgery on you overnight to make you a different person. Brother T, for instance, has worked on himself and his path (that was shown to him during ceremonies) for over a decade now. He is where he is now because of his choices and decisions. The Mother simply showed him the mirrors and truths, and possibilities.

Another important thing to outline here – Even a person who may have been sincerely ingesting plant medicine for years on end may still be corrupt, may still abuse or molest or hurt others. Of course the medicine only wants your Good, humanity’s good, but its the human in the driver’s seat outside of the physical ceremony space. Each one, writing a large part of their own story.

Its spiritual medicine, it can be magic, but not for every case, not for every human.

Moving on,

One very cute yet interesting fact I learnt just before the first ceremony began – since it was an outdoors setting with just a bamboo shed above our heads, mosquitos abound. And since my blood apparently is very appetising for them, I entered the maloca stinking of mosquito repellant (it was an embarrassingly strong smell!) that I had rubbed on my bare arms and legs. When someone commented on it, puzzled at where the smell was coming from, I sheepishly raised my hand and confessed at being the culprit. Brother T, god bless him, immediately chimed in, “wait till you ingest the medicine, within minutes the mosquitoes will leave you alone”. I genuinely thought he was joking, a sad/ bad/ dad joke.

Well, he was absolutely sincere and absolutely right!

Turns out the energy shift is so evident in the body once you ingest Ayahuasca, that mosquitoes keep their distance – from this intense energy. Wowza!

Not a single mosquito bite all night, all three ceremonies. And this is remarkable because i was usually dressed in sleeveless tops and short shorts.

I had read somewhere that we wear white in the ceremony space, so I did. At least my tops, for all three ceremonies, were white.

I also got this intuitive feeling of not to wear anything other than clothes on my body for the ceremonies – no jewellery (earrings, finger rings, anklets), no watch, no phone, no kajal, no lip balm. Nothing. I thought it poetic and wise to go there in as natural and authentic a state as you can. Not just the mind (empty of thoughts, anxiety, demands), Not just the body internally (bereft of sensory delights and tastes and flavors), but also externally (no adornments).

I was very pleased with myself about the above 🙂

Good girl.

They also recommend that use less and less ‘everyday chemicals’ and more and more organic stuff like body washes, lotions, shampoos etc. I didn’t do this one. I honestly couldn’t be bothered.

Before ceremonies began, we were advised to have a preliminary chat with the curandero or Brother T. I did. He tried to straight-talk me as sincerely as he could – Comforted me about being nervous, assured me that this was no accident that I was there, the Mother had indeed called me (and apparently I had earned the invitation through my journey and pain and seeking), And finally to just let everything go and surrender, surrender, surrender. Brother T repeatedly will tell anyone to just Surrender. Sage advice.