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My Creative Journey with Psychedelics & the Psyche
(read posts in descending order please – oldest post first)
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Post-Ceremony Process (3) – The Typhoon & Dog-Love
Looking back, it is very interesting to me – the kinds of themes I was experiencing in my ‘integration’ process post the 3-ceremony retreat with Ayahuasca, the grandmother energy in March 2020. It seems now that all the situations I was faced with in the 3 months after (and of course the next 4 years…
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Post-ceremony ‘Process’ (2)
One of the big missteps I took back then, right after coming back from my first Ayahuasca retreat was to stay in the mind, not grounding myself to this reality. All I wished to do was to escape. To escape back into the DMT world, with its dark tunnels of snake skin, with its dimly…
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Post-ceremony ‘Process’ – the main thing really… (1)
Life after leaving the ceremonial space, returning to the sacred mundane human life: Its been close to 4 years since I returned home post my first set of Ayahuasca ceremonies, and even though I have well-documented journals to dip my toes into from that time, Today is still a long way away from then. In…
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3rd ceremony (2020) – part 3
For everyone else in the circle, the ceremony and the retreat had come to a satisfying close, but not for me. At least not yet. While everyone was dispersing, chatting, giggling, high-fiving, I was lying down sideways on my mattress, feeling & looking zonked. I could see everyone around me jubilating, making plans for the…
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3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony (2020) – Part 2
(continued from before…) As I wrote in the earlier post about the Third Ceremony, I felt as if Mamma Aya wasn’t talking to me at all that day. She kept dodging me, confusing me, spinning me around, putting me behind stranger’s eyes. I struggled to remember who I was (Anjuri, a woman, 36 years old,…
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3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony (2020) – Part 1
The events of 10.3.2020: It was a day ceremony, the only day ceremony amongst the 3 ceremonies at our retreat. We were to start early in the morning. It was the day of Holi (Indian festival where we play with flowers, colours and water with family and friends). We were mostly assembled and seated in…
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2nd Ayahuasca Ceremony (2020) – Part 3
Next, she showed me my Father’s face (my actual human father in this lifetime). The second I saw his face, I was filled to the brim with gratitude towards him. So much grace. Anjuri, the human, sitting there on the mattress with her eyes closed, began whispering “Thank You Papa’, and kept thanking him over…
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2nd Ayahuasca Ceremony (2020) – Part 2
I didn’t have to wait for long. Ayahuasca took hold of me within minutes of drinking the second cup. I saw a little girl child, a toddler, standing up in a crib, crying/ howling for her mother. I sensed that that child was Me. Little Anjuri. I, the physical human, began crying too. Big tears.…
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2nd Ayahuasca Ceremony (2020) – Part 1
I was left dissatisfied and frustrated with my first Ayahuasca ceremony, because I felt that I did not receive any insights, healings from Pachamama. The morning after the 1st ceremony, the curandero HC and Brother T called for a sharing circle. We were urged to gather around in a circle in the maloca, huddled close-ish,…
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1st Ayahuasca Ceremony (2020)
I was mighty nervous this day, and the fact that the ceremony kept getting postponed didn’t help, it kept extending the nervousness. The original plan was to start the ceremony at 6pm, (it was meant to be a night ceremony, under the almost full moon, in fact 2 nights before the Full Moon of March…
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The 21 Days before Ayahuasca
Prep, expectations, experiences and the ultimate surrender 23 days before I was to travel to get to the Ayahuasca ceremonies venue, I was undergoing a sound healing session at The Lotus, Mumbai (the 2020-21 pandemic forced the Mumbai centre to close shop but the original Bangalore centre still stands tall). For the hour-long session, all…
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Ayahuasca Calling – Part 4
A Maloca is usually, from what I gather, a shaded roofed hut sort of space, under which sacred ceremonies are often held. Usually, people gather in near-darkness, the group led by an experienced curandero/ facilitator, drinking the tea one by one. And then, there is not even a candle’s worth of light in the space.…
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Ayahuasca Calling – Part 3
Googling Ayahuasca – anxious thoughts before heading to the ceremonies Before I go any further, I would like to write a bit about what Ayahuasca is, as I discovered and understand it, because I get asked that a lot when it comes up in conversation. I enjoy talking about the medicine, maybe even to a…
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Ayahuasca Calling – Part 2
Key lessons and themes in the run-up to the ceremonies: On Brother T’s advice, I would spend most of my morning walks at Juhu beach, running a wish-list/ ‘intentions list’ in my mind, wish-list for Grandmother Ayahuasca to fulfil/ heed. Initially it seemed endless. All sorts of wishes. Most of them categorically ‘not frivolous’, but…
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Ayahuasca Calling – Part 1
I happened to be one of the few incredibly fortunate Indian people who got to sit in Ayahuasca ceremonies just before Covid-19 lockdowns began in India (March 2020). I signed up for the ceremonies (without knowing anything at all about the medicine and her process) in Jan’2020, after saying a nonchallant ‘No’ a few times.…
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